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nakdak's blog
 
Twas the Year Before Christmas
12/10/2011 12:56:04 AM
 
Hello all, and season's greetings. Late at night and well-slushed, I feel the need to ramble. You know, I think I began to realize that Santa was a bum a long time ago, say, about November of 2010. You see, I wished only for one thing from the jolly ole' elf at Christmas, a thing as benign as a football, as perfectly perfunctory as an action figure with its rectic plastic grin, but yet as uncontrollably chaotic as a Metallica ditty: an air hockey table. A real one. A totally straight-forward competition A.H. table. That's what I wanted, and as I sat on Santa's lap wondering with great speculation as to why his face was carved into a painful grimace, that's what I asked him for. My exact words, desperate and excitable as they might have been, were: "I want a Dynamo-Made, Straight Shot, 7 Score, Frictionless-Cushioned, Air Hockey Table!" He said he would do what he could, then turned nonchalantly to one of his elves and said, "I wish that fat goddamn kid would have asked for a Lexus." Never the less, on the morning of December 26th you can imagine my surprise as I sat downtrodden before the fireplace, pulped up on choco-covered pretzels and half-warm egg-flip realizing that nogging Santa Clause doesn't care about us air hockey enthusiasts! Lo, there was no Dynamo. No air hockey table. No fun. I was, in deed, left with only turkey leftovers. But then, I had the strangest thought—call it a catharsis. Santa's bag simply isn't big enough, I thought. He carries all the toys for all the boys, all the twirls for all the girls of the whole world in that fat, little bag of his. How is he going to stuff an air hockey table in there, too? So, I have a plan. As I sit here, plushing out nonsensical copy to you, my fearless, perfect, undaunted guardians of the table, I now submit that I will, in 2011, ask Santa for a greater bag than that of his own! I will do so only to charitably turn around and offer it back to him so that in 2012 he will in deed grant me my wish: "A Dynamo-Made, Straight Shot, 7 Score, Frictionless-Cushioned, Air Hockey Table!" and still have room in his bag for all the rest of the stuff that the boys and girls of the world want. Yes, this is what I shall do! Because Santa Clause exists. He's real. The real deal. The sure thing. Totally.

Blog History
Big D in Big D 10 Sep 2013
40 years of air hockey at Green Manor, part 2 15 Jan 2013
40 years of air hockey at Green Manor, part 1 15 Jan 2013
What is a Charge, Really? Part 2 17 Jul 2012
What is a Charge, Really? 17 Jul 2012
Force of Nature 07 Apr 2012
Inside the game 20 Mar 2012
Dallas Tourney V: Day of the Dog, Part 2 04 Feb 2012
Dallas Tourney V: Day of the Dog 04 Feb 2012
Twas the Year Before Christmas 10 Dec 2011
Dallas Tourney IV: New Blood Rising, Part 2 14 Nov 2011
Dallas Tourney IV: New Blood Rising 13 Nov 2011
The Flanagans Puck it up in Big D 11 Nov 2011
Dallas Tourney III, Part 2 15 Oct 2011
Dallas Tourney III 15 Oct 2011
Dallas Tourney II, part 2 30 Sep 2011
Dallas Tourney II 30 Sep 2011
Dallas Tourny I 22 Sep 2011